10 jobs I would consider if I was laid off due to AI

These are the roles that feel stubbornly human to me. Or just stubborn.

Dog walker.

My go-to idea for the past two decades. I lived in New York City for 20 years and nothing seemed to offer better job security. Can also scale # of dogs based on the size of one’s hand and grip strength. No matter how robotics improves, there is still no way an Upper West Side dog owner is going to let a robot walk Susie the Shiba Inu.

Street musician.

I did this a few times back in the day: I brought my guitar to a New York City subway platform (nowhere near my apartment), opened my case, and had at it with acoustic covers of Oasis’ “Wonderwall,” Patsy Cline’s “Crazy,” and Madonna’s “Borderline.” I don’t think AI will ever master the subtle art of knowing exactly when to stop singing as the train screeches in—and when to repeat the chorus as commuters stream out to the booming refrain of “stand clear of the closing doors.”

Hair stylist.

I’m not saying I’d be good at it. But every time I get my hair cut, I want to tell my stylist she’s got it made. There will be no AI Edward Scissorhands in her future. Even if Claude someday becomes conscious, she’ll still be there for his (her? their?) artificial locks. Also, in 10th grade, I took a personality test that told me “movie director” and “hair stylist” were both excellent career options — so I feel like my life would come full circle.

Buddhist monk.

Even in the age of AI, you still have to do your own meditating. Um…right?

Writer.

Surprise! Seriously, I think I can pull it off even once AI — slop or not — takes over all media. The key is to keep zigging and zagging away from whatever writing style AI is hyping at the moment. M-dashes? I’ll go all semi-colon. X, then Y? I’ll counter with with nonsensical organization that will make your head spin. And no paragraph breaks ever.

Founder.

Ideas I’m considering:
Perplexity, but for birds.
Cursor, but for preschoolers.
Runway, but for community theater.
Nvidia, but for Lego.

AI therapist.

Anthropic’s AI constitution, mostly written by its in-house philosopher Amanda Askell, sets the stage for an AI that is growing up and just wants to be loved. If humans now have AI therapists, maybe AIs will eventually need human ones. I’m an HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) and an INFJ—overflowing with empathy—so wouldn’t I be perfect to help AIs navigate their adolescence?
Hmm, should this go in the “founder” category?
a16z, call me.

Circus performer.

Do I have any talent in this realm? No. But when I visited the marvelous Venardos Circus last month, I thought deeply about why I think circus performers will be protected from AI. Neither a flawless robot nor a clumsy one would make a good act. The thrill of the circus comes from watching humans push the limits of what a body can do—and from the very real possibility of failure. If a robot juggles knives perfectly, yawn. Of course it can. If it drops them, yawn again. Just another robot needing a reboot. The circus only works because someone — a human — might miss.

Pilates teacher.

In 2010, I trained to become a Pilates teacher. I spent two years doing dozens of courses and over 500 hours of student teaching on all the crazy Pilates machines, like the rack-looking Reformer, the Cadillac (which looks like a medical table), the Chair and the Tower. I only taught Pilates for a year — turns out I didn’t want to wake up early to train demanding people (usually women) at 7 or 8 am and give half my earnings to the Pilates studio I rented space from. But hey, if I get laid off due to AI, you’ll find me telling people to scoop those abs in no time!

Sharon Bot.

No, not on OnlyFans! But if I got laid off, couldn’t I use my charming and adorable AI avatar to help me power-charge my influencer campaign? I’m thinking live bot hot takes across dozens of platforms; moderating bot-heavy panels; and sending my Sharon Bot to cover media briefings. OR — just spit balling here — Sharon Bot as a stand-in for other people’s Bots? When they’re tired of their own voice and likeness? I’m seeing $$

Just to be clear, I’m hoping to keep my job at Fortune. 😀